Dear Annie is an advice column where solutions are provided to the people who have shared their problems. All kinds of questions are asked about love, marriage, friendship, etc and each of them is answered.
Annie Lane is the one who runs this column and answers every question. Her answers are logical and very understanding. Annie is a wife and a mother who has this amazing quality to understand people’s dilemma. The way she structures her answer tells us she sympathizes with the person and provides an acceptable solution.
DEAR ANNIE: LET’S SEE MRS. TORN PROBLEM
Mrs. Torn writes to Annie saying
She is 47 years old with two children and is married too. Her marriage life is good but the husband is moody, has a temper, and suffers from OCD. Although he is a respected person in the society but is not romantic or thoughtful towards her. He will not cheat on his wife however he has taken her for granted and refused to go for a therapy. As he said no to therapy Mrs. Torn decided to go by herself and she started using the therapist’s advice. Through her effort and some advice, her husband has shown some improvement in temper. She runs a small business which she is happy with and does not want to leave her husband. Because they have kids, she has taken a vow, and also she loves him and is trying to make it work.
The problem starts now, she started developing a crush on a male friend who is married and has children. They met in church and they chat during community events and also via messages, the messages are not funny and humorous. Nothing inappropriate is going on between them but she feels guilty as she daydreams about him. The reason they are finding comfort in each other because the man’s wife suffers from depression, alcoholism, and agoraphobia. They both are devoted to each other’s spouses and are good friends. However, her emotions towards him are the issue.
Dear Annie replies to her saying
That it is okay to have an opposite-gender friend who makes her laugh and happy. As both of them are devoted to their better half there is nothing wrong with this friendship. The reason for this crush is not her friend but the situation in the marriage. She advises not to run away from her friendship because of the feeling but to fall back in love with her husband. This can be achieved through therapy which has proved to be useful and she should continue. The therapy will also help her not to feel guilty and enjoy friendship and finding joy in friends. She also says a happy wife might help her husband to loosen up and make him laugh too. Annie said, “ marriage is work, and we get out of it what we put into it”, and keep finding joy in life as it is valuable.